It's Not Just Strange Anymore, It's Surreal

What's that Gary? You hope that Fort Bend County voters are allowed to vote for the candidate of their choice? Did someone leave a can of bug spray open? I can only think that something like that just must have happened. Here is what Gary Gillen, Chairman of the Fort Bend Republican Party said to the Fort Bend Herald when asked to comment on the ruling of Judge Sparks (my new hero), in regard to the "in-ineligibility" of Tom DeLay:

"I think it's a sad day for the voters of the 22nd District. The Republican Party will appeal this to the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, which will obviously slow the entire process down. I hope voters will prevail and will be able to vote for the candidate of their choice, rather than being denied an opportunity by the courts."

Come again? Too much bug juice or an exercise in "the big lie"?

Now, it has been a few months since we had the primary elections (4 months ago, tomorrow) but I distinctly recall that the voters had 4 candidates to chose from on the Republican primary ballot, and they chose Tom DeLay by a 62% majority - no run off required. Then, in an outrageous move, the Republican State Chairman, Tina Berkiser, sought to remove our Tom from the ballot, a move that not only exceeded her purview but also violated the United States Constitution (Republicans are becoming ever so adept at doing that lately, you know). The Texas Democratic Party sued and won. Tom DeLay is back on the ballot, and Tina B. has been told not to do that again. The democratic process has been preserved, thanks to the (aptly named) Texas Democratic Party.

Oh, no . . . wait. You weren't talking about Tom DeLay when you used the words "candidate of their choice"? You were talking about "the candidate to be named later", the one that the Gang of 4 will meet (or is it would have met) to pick out?

Now I have trouble with that. Explain to me how a Republican candidate picked out by 4 Republican precinct chairs is "a candidate of their choice". Is it because the "their" in "their choice" doesn't refer to "the voters", but to the "Gang of 4"? Maybe . . .but if so I suggest a remedial course in grammar because you aren't properly referencing your pronouns.

So who precisely is the "candidate of their choice"? Tom DeLay? Never fear, TDP took care of that. Or is it "the candidate to be named later"? If it is the latter, I am afraid some synapses misfired, because no voter will have (would have had) a say in who that will be (would have been).

Good thing they outlawed Chlordane (but man, how that stuff could kill bugs).

[Note to reader: I am sorry for all the parentheticals, I am dealing with alternative universes here.]