Things I Am Thankful For

I generally detest Thanksgiving. It’s just another holiday where I can justify to myself eating too much food I shouldn’t eat at all.

Except for cranberries. Cranberries are good for you.

Still, everyone seems to set aside some time today to reflect on what they are thankful for, so I decided why the H-E-double-hockey-sticks not?

So first, let’s say I am thankful for NASA. Ever since I was a kid in the early 60’s NASA has been putting people on top of big tubes of controlled exploding gases and blasting them into space. What a time to be alive.

Next, I am thankful for teabaggers. How can progressive Democrats ever thank the teabaggers enough for doing in a few months what Democrats have failed to do for decades? The Party of Reagan will soon become the Party of Palin and Glenn Beck and will soon become completely marginalized.

And I am thankful for Teflon. Do you know how hard it was to cook an egg over easy without getting it stuck to the pan? It was a vexing problem. Teflon by the way, wasn’t a product of the space program like so many other things we take for granted every day. Teflon was an accidental discovery by DuPont whose first practical use was as a part of the first atomic bomb.

And last but not least, I am thankful for Romy Schneider. In her youth she had such a bright happy face. How could such a person with that face have come to such a sad and tragic end all these years ago?