On this Thanksgiving Day as we begin the 2012 election year, I just want to thank the Republican Party for the most unlikely field of candidates to challenge my president, Barack Hussein Obama.
Thanks for Michele Bachmann. A truly crazed woman with ideas that are nuttier than pecan pie.
Thanks for Herman Cain. A womanizer extraordinaire who is delusional if he didn’t think his past misogynistic behaviors weren’t ever going to come out.
Thanks for Newt Gingrich. A guy who couldn’t just wait until his bed-ridden cancer-stricken wife to pass before getting it on with his present wife, all while serving up Bill Clinton to an impeachment trial for lying about his dalliance. A guy who wants to repeal child labor laws.
Thanks for Mitt Romney. A guy so two faced that it takes him twice as long to shave in the morning as most people.
Thanks for Rick Santorum. Hey, someone has to be in last place, might as well be Rick.
Thanks for Rick Perry. A guy so dumb that he actually makes George W. Bush look like a rocket scientist.
Thanks for John Huntsman. A guy who is most likely to appeal to moderates and independent voters, but hasn’t a snowball’s chance in the infernal region of getting the nomination, not if the Tea Party has anything to say about it.
And thanks for Ron Paul. A perennial presidential candidate whose crazed Libertarian ideas are becoming mainstreamed by the Tea Party.
Yes, there is truly a lot we can be thankful for. This blog may be called Half Empty, but today my cup truly runneth over.