Perry All Set to Move Back to Mansion

After being forced to move his gubernatorial residence from the Governor’s mansion for 70 months, first because of much-needed renovations, then because of an arsonist-laid fire, Governor and Mrs. Perry are all set toleave their $8,500.00 per month rental unit (complete with a subscription to a gourmet wine magazine), and move back in to the oldest continuously occupied governor’s mansion west of the Mississippi. Well, all except for the Civil War and the most recent 5 years.

Getting out my calculator again, this amounts to, in rent alone,  $595,000.00. That’s taxpayer’s money, you know. But no expense can be spared for the security of the first family of Texas, including nearly the equivalent amount spent on security for just a few months of campaigning for the impossible dream of being President of the United States.

And I know that Governor Perry will see the pain in the eyes of his fellow Texans and will want to reimburse the taxpayers for his excessive lifestyle over the past 5 years and his security detail for his run at the presidency. Reimburse them from the millions he raised from duped campaign contributors who should have known that this was the most expensive book-promotion tour in human history.

And taxpayers still know that this is the most expensive administrator’s residential unit in Texas’ history.

He knows all of that and he is truly sorry for the inconveniences.

And monkeys will fly out of my patootie.