Somali Pirates Have a New Policy?

Perhaps underscoring how really crazy things are in that part of the world, a part of the world where a permanent state of lawlessness is the rule, we have a Somali pirate issuing a press release.

“From now on, if we capture foreign ships and their respective countries try to attack us, we will kill them (the hostages).”

Well . . . yes.

I thought that was the policy all along. Do they mean by this new “from now on...” announcement that prior to the United States taking out three pirates with three head shots using three bullets from three sniper rifles, there was something else they were going to do to their hostages if someone tried a rescue attempt?

I don’t think I ever heard of an alternative scenario.

The mind reels then. What was it that they WERE going to do to their hostages if they are attacked by nations attempting to save them?

What WAS the policy?

Tattoo them?

Crazy glue their eyebrows to the floor?

Take racy photos of them and upload them to the internet?

After all, we are talking about a bunch of teenagers. Maybe that’s what they had in mind before the US Navy took three of their number out with such ease.

Or maybe they just got confused from watching too many Peewee Herman movies.

Navy Seals Grease Somali Pirates: Arrrrrr

In another Easter miracle, trained snipers aboard the USS Bainbridge ended the ordeal of Captain Richard Phillips, taken hostage by a small group of Somali pirates, by introducing high velocity projectiles to their exploding flesh.

In honor of the three Somali pirates that will soon be contributing their organic matter to the cosmic compost pile, I will post what are, in my opinion, the three worst pirate jokes ever created:

What's a pirate's favorite food?
Arrrrrtichokes.

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A buccaneer.

A pirate walks into a bar with a big wheel stuffed down his pants. The bartender says, "Did you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
The pirate says, “Aaarrr matey, it's driving me nuts.”