Why Obama Won

Well the truth is finally out. Barack Obama won last November by a landslide of electoral votes, much to the horror and chagrin of vast throngs of true and patriotic Americans who had “Nobama” and “Obama Must Go”(OMG) stickers attached to their pickup trucks. And now we know why.

 

Obama won the election because his opponent, Mitt Romney, really didn’t want to be president. He’s a very private person, you see, and being so much in the public eye was not something he wanted to do. So in effect, Romney threw the fight. Romney, and his advisors, all from the Bush political machine, knew how to win an election. They invented winning in the 21^st century in 2004. But no, Romney really didn’t want to be president and so Obama is an accidental president because his opponent was not very enamored of the prize because the price of his loss of privacy was too high.

And no, I’m not talking trash, this is what Tagg Romney recently said of his father’s recent loss.

From the Boston Globe:

“’He wanted to be president less than anyone I’ve met in my life. He had no desire to . . . run,’ said Tagg, who worked with his mother, Ann, to persuade his father to seek the presidency. ‘If he could have found someone else to take his place . . . he would have been ecstatic to step aside. He is a very private person who loves his family deeply and wants to be with them, but he has deep faith in God and he loves his country, but he doesn’t love the attention.’”

So there you have it. Obama is not a Christian, not an American (not white), and not really the President of the United States. And now we know that he was not actually re-elected either. Obama will be president for another 4 years because Mitt Romney didn’t really want to be president.

That makes so much sense. Someone who wants to be president wouldn’t staff his offices with one sixth of the staff of his opponent. Neither would he fail to have thousands of volunteers and a high-tech campaign strategy that made sure that every American got a personal contact.  Romney didn’t have any of that and now we know why. He didn’t want to win.

So Romney didn’t win because he didn’t really want to. Yeah…… That’s the ticket.