What’s in a Name Like Farouk Shami Anyway?

Outgoing Mayor Bill White is looking for a soft landing in the Texas governor’s mansion – wherever it is right now. But in doing so he has to get by two people: Farouk Shami who is opposing him in the Democratic primary, and then Rick Perry who is poised to give Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison the shellacking of her life in next year’s Republican primary.

Now I have checked, and it looks like Farouk Shami may have a name recognition problem here in Texas. But not the kind of name recognition problem that most people associate with those who run for statewide office. Shami’s problem is that too many Texans will take one look at Farouk Shami’s name and recognize that he comes from the Middle East.

Farouk Shami is a Palestinian immigrant – and a Christian.

But that doesn’t mean anything to Texans. There are still Texans out there who think that Barack Obama is a Kenyan Muslim.

And Texans hate, just hate immigrants.

This is despite the fact that most Texans live in houses built by Mexican migrant laborers.

Now it’s true that people who vote in the Democratic primary are mostly Democrats, and it is also true that most Democrats are not rabid anti-immigrant Muslim haters. But it is also true that Democratic primary voters not only vote for the person who best reflects their own point of view but also vote for the one that they think will perform the best against a Republican opponent.

And that’s why Farouk Shami hasn’t a chance.

Not a chance of a snowball in H-E-Double Hockeysticks.

Democrats really and truly want to rid Texas of the chain of bad leadership that they have had in Austin since 1994, and with Rick Perry catering to an ever-shrinking neoconservative minority, they see a chance for that to finally happen. But I think most will see an unnecessary risk in voting for Farouk Shami in the primary. Maybe he’s an OK Democrat, I really haven’t looked, but most Texans realize that if Shami makes it onto the ballot in November, people will come out to the polls simply to vote against “that Muslim.”

And that’s not just a possibility, that is a prediction.

And I’m not the first to predict this. Kinky Friedman, who is a friend of Shami’s agrees and has even told him so.

From the Dallas Morning News blog:

“‘I told Farouk if he's going to put 10 million bucks into a race, why not consider putting in another 200 bucks and change your name? You know?’ Friedman recalled, adding: ‘He did not find that amusing.’”

Maybe he wasn’t amused. But it was still some good advice.

Hank Gilbert and the Kinkster in a Footrace

I noted with some relief here that Hank Gilbert withdrew from the race for the Democratic nomination for Texas governor, and left the story for awhile when it looked like Kinky Friedman, erstwhile professional comedian and campaigner, was going to follow suit but not before weighing his options on to whom he would throw his support, Bill White or Farouk Shami.

Then I sat back and watched for awhile as the progressive blogosphere went completely berserk in their condemnation of Kinky Friedman’s move to oppose the darling of the left, Hank Gilbert.

On Gilbert’s own website, he is quoted as saying “Kinky is no Democrat. If he was, he never would have stayed in the 2006 race running as an independent and denied our party’s nominee a real chance at the governor’s office.” This was echoed again and again from one blog to another.

Making me look askance at my fellow progressives.

Not because I don’t agree with them, I do. Kinky Friedman has no intention of becoming Ag Commissioner. It doesn’t serve his purpose unless an Ag Commissioner, in some way can get medical marijuana legal in Texas – something I am highly doubtful of.

Kinky Friedman simply wants to market himself, his cigars, his books, his doll (yes he sells a doll that looks like Kinky Friedman on a bad hair day).

And bottom line, and there always is a bottom line, they say that Kinky Friedman is going to cost Hank Gilbert’s campaign some money to run in a contested primary.

To which I say, yes, yes, yes and yes. All true. But I really think these people are missing the point. An uncontested primary is the most boring kind of election imaginable. Sure it’s nice not to have to bend your brain a little and choose between 2 or more people who may or may not be Democrats.

But it’s also boring.

And when it’s boring people stay away from the polls. When it is unexciting people would rather stay home and watch the grass grow.

And you don’t have to like Kinky Friedman, or agree with him, to admit that where Kinky Friedman goes, excitement follows. Newspaper articles get published. TV. That’s right, the race for Agricultural Commissioner becomes newsworthy.

Kinky Friedman will run, and he’ll get his requisite 12% of the vote from die-hard Kinkster fans that may or may not be Democrats, and Hank Gilbert will win and have a leg up in name recognition from this contested primary that was so much in the news.

If anything, contrary to how it turned out last time when Friedman cost Chris Bell the election (29% + 12% would have beaten Governor 39% if Kinky’s voters all voted the same – which is a reach), this has the opposite effect today, I think. In essence, if Hank Gilbert beats Todd Staples in November 2010, he may just have Kinky Friedman to thank for that.

Kinky Friedman Finally Gets It Right

Now those 547,674 Texas voters who wasted their votes for Kinky Friedman last year, and gave him enough material to write himself another book can all take solace in the fact that Kinky finally got it right. Quoted in the Austin American-Statesman:

“Had I run as a Democrat last time, I think (Gov.) Rick Perry would already be (out of office as) a lobbyist for a cigar company.”

Exactimundo.

Had Kinky run as a Democrat in the March 2006 primary his clock would have been supremely cleaned and Chris Bell would now be Governor Bell. Not only that, school buses would not be allowed to sit at idle all day in school parking lots and community college employees would have health insurance.

And who knows what else? Maybe we would not have a right wing religious reactionary as chairman of the state school board. Maybe tens of thousands of school children wouldn’t be subjected to saying the words “under God” twice each weekday morning (does anyone besides me think that “one state and indivisible” or “one nation indivisible” makes far more sense?).

Well, he’s got maybe 2 and a half years to think it over, figure out how much he can make writing a book about his second failed attempt to become governor of Texas. Then, if he decides to run again maybe he can hire Kelly Fero as his consultant as Fero seems to be the only person in sight that thinks it’s a grand idea.

Kinky Friedman’s Advisor Gives Free Advice to Michael Bloomberg

I haven’t heard much in the news about Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s run for president as an independent. But that’s not stopping Laureen Oliver, Kinky Friedman’s consultant on ballot access, from offering free advice on the Politico today. Maybe she’s looking for a job. After all, a guy with $500 million to spend on an independent campaign is going to need an expert in getting signatures on petitions in 50 states, and Laureen probably thinks that money will spend just as well on her advice than someone else.

What Laureen failed to mention is that her work on Kinky’s campaign got Texas saddled with a governor who got only 39% of the vote. But why should she be worried about that? Kinky gets another book out of his campaign, and she lives in Florida, anyway.

And thankfully, you can’t elect a president who has 39% of the vote. At least we have the electoral college to fall back on. And failing to get 270 of those votes, at least we have a Democratic-dominated House.

Yep, if this plays out and Bloomberg runs it looks like we might be in for another “interesting” presidential election.

I just wish that one year we can have a presidential election that is less interesting.