The Fighting 22nd: Shelley is Conducting Another Push Poll

I was just writing tonight’s piece on all the Clinton supporter defections to Obama when I got a phone call from a pollster. I stayed on and didn’t brush the young man off because he said he would ask only three questions. I said “OK, fire away”.

“If you were to vote today for the Republican candidate for Texas Congressional District 22, which of the following would you vote for: Shelley Sekula Gibbs, Pete Olson, John Manlove, Dean Hrbacek, Bob Talton or Jim Squier”?

I said “What? You didn’t name all of them!” He laughed and offered that maybe I was looking at his screen.

“No," I said. "I know there are ten of them running and you only named six”.

He laughed again and then asked me which one would I vote for, so I hemmed and hawed a bit and came up with “’Crazy Bob’ Talton”.

“OK [I could hear a click in the background as my vote was recorded], now if there was a runoff election, which of these two candidates would you vote for, Pete Olson or Shelley Sekula Gibbs?”

I thought and thought for a bit, then said what can be construed as a factual statement: “I wouldn’t vote in the runoff. I wouldn’t vote for either of those jokers”.

Oddly enough, they had a place to record that vote, too.

Home stretch. Third question:

“Now if someone were to tell you that one of the candidates had not lived in the congressional district until just recently, what would you think about that? Would you be inclined to vote for that candidate?”

Busted.

I started laughing. “Oh! It’s a push poll.” Pollster said “What?” Reply: “A PUSH poll!” I laughed again and then said “Tell Shelley I said ‘Hi’.”

And I replaced the receiver.

Honestly, it has been really quiet here at my place since my vote has been registered on Fort Bend County’s Early Vote tally sheet. Apparently Shelley Sekula Gibbs’ campaign has not been clued in to the fact that you can really trim your call lists if you get a list of people who have already cast their ballot. A poll is one thing. It gets an idea of who is ahead. But this was a push poll designed to persuade voters. A call wasted on me, for more than one reason.

So it is as I suspected, and Pete Olson, the DC insider, the golden-haired boy sent to the district to derail Shelley from getting on the November ballot again, is the one the Sekula Gibbs campaign fears most.

And well they should. Here’s what I get from my personal lawn-sign-at-residences poll. I’ve seen 4 Taltons, 2 Manloves, 2 Bazzys, 1 Hrbacek, 2 Squiers and 8 Olsons. I have seen NO Sekula Gibbs signs anywhere. And more importantly, where I saw those annoying maize and blue Sekula Gibbs signs in October/November 2006, there are Olson signs planted there now.

This is the absolute truth. Swear to Jesus.

So even with Tom DeLay gone for now going on to 19 months, Texas Congressional District 22 has not lost its daffiness. Everyone’s pointing their fingers at Olson, calling him an outsider. Threats of lawsuits for defamation have been made, heads have been photoshopped onto a slimmer, trimmer body, one vet is being accused of exaggerating his military record, and Sekula Gibbs is still conducting push polls.

Well, my Republican neighbors, there are 5 more shopping days until the March 4th primary.

I would say “choose wisely”, but since that’s not an option in your case, choose the best person to give us all a big laugh in the fall.

You guys are getting pretty good at that.