What I am Thankful For

On this Thanksgiving Day as we begin the 2012 election year, I just want to thank the Republican Party for the most unlikely field of candidates to challenge my president, Barack Hussein Obama.

Thanks for Michele Bachmann. A truly crazed woman with ideas that are nuttier than pecan pie.

Thanks for Herman Cain. A womanizer extraordinaire who is delusional if he didn’t think his past misogynistic behaviors weren’t ever going to come out.

Thanks for Newt Gingrich. A guy who couldn’t just wait until his bed-ridden cancer-stricken wife to pass before getting it on with his present wife, all while serving up Bill Clinton to an impeachment trial for lying about his dalliance. A guy who wants to repeal child labor laws.

Thanks for Mitt Romney. A guy so two faced that it takes him twice as long to shave in the morning as most people.

Thanks for Rick Santorum. Hey, someone has to be in last place, might as well be Rick.

Thanks for Rick Perry. A guy so dumb that he actually makes George W. Bush look like a rocket scientist.

Thanks for John Huntsman. A guy who is most likely to appeal to moderates and independent voters, but hasn’t a snowball’s chance in the infernal region of getting the nomination, not if the Tea Party has anything to say about it.

And thanks for Ron Paul. A perennial presidential candidate whose crazed Libertarian ideas are becoming mainstreamed by the Tea Party.

Yes, there is truly a lot we can be thankful for. This blog may be called Half Empty, but today my cup truly runneth over.

Things I Am Thankful For

I generally detest Thanksgiving. It’s just another holiday where I can justify to myself eating too much food I shouldn’t eat at all.

Except for cranberries. Cranberries are good for you.

Still, everyone seems to set aside some time today to reflect on what they are thankful for, so I decided why the H-E-double-hockey-sticks not?

So first, let’s say I am thankful for NASA. Ever since I was a kid in the early 60’s NASA has been putting people on top of big tubes of controlled exploding gases and blasting them into space. What a time to be alive.

Next, I am thankful for teabaggers. How can progressive Democrats ever thank the teabaggers enough for doing in a few months what Democrats have failed to do for decades? The Party of Reagan will soon become the Party of Palin and Glenn Beck and will soon become completely marginalized.

And I am thankful for Teflon. Do you know how hard it was to cook an egg over easy without getting it stuck to the pan? It was a vexing problem. Teflon by the way, wasn’t a product of the space program like so many other things we take for granted every day. Teflon was an accidental discovery by DuPont whose first practical use was as a part of the first atomic bomb.

And last but not least, I am thankful for Romy Schneider. In her youth she had such a bright happy face. How could such a person with that face have come to such a sad and tragic end all these years ago?

When Is Bill White Off To Greener Pastures?

Now that Kay Bailey Hutchison has all but slammed the door on there being a special election to replace her in the senate, much to the consternation of some on both sides of the political aisle, it appears that the next shoe has dropped.

Today Tom Schieffer dropped out of the gubernatorial race, a race he has been engaged in for a year now.

Now Schieffer, in my humble opinion, didn’t have a snowball’s chance in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks of getting elected governor, any more than he had a chance of getting the nomination in the March primary.

Democrats couldn’t get past his fond friendship with the worst US President . . . ever . . . George W. Bush. Neither, I would hazard to guess, could Republicans who are now looking at the past eight years like they fondly look back on their last toothache.

Schieffer had nowhere to go, and no cash to get him there.

So logically he bailed out. Where it gets interesting is the timing. Now I am of the opinion that the timing is irrelevant because he is out and that is that. But the timing coupled with Schieffer throwing his entire support in the candidacy of Bill White for governor does raise an eyebrow or two.

Especially because Bill White remains mum on what seems obvious to anyone who follows Texas politics: if there is no senatorial race, and there won’t be, what does the soon-to-be former mayor of Houston do now? Really it’s not a case of whether Bill White runs for governor or not, it’s a case of when he will announce it.

My guess is that this pull-out on Tom Schieffer’s part was ill-timed for the Bill White campaign and I would guess that there might be some grinding of teeth in that campaign because one thing you don’t want to do is kick off a new campaign on Thanksgiving weekend.

Not in Texas, anyway.

Not when there are turkeys to be deep-fried in peanut oil.

Not when there are so many football games to watch on TV.

Not when you could drop a thermonuclear bomb on Kilgore, Texas on Thanksgiving and no one would know about it until Monday.

Or Tuesday latest.