Scooter Libby Gets Thirty, Fined Two Fifty Large

Thirty months, that is.

It’s usually in stories like this you get to find out how many months they will actually get “inside”, you know, 30 months with X months with time off for good behavior. Not in this article. On top of 30 months Libby is going to have two years of “supervised release” when he leaves prison.

You know, so they can make sure he doesn’t lie anymore.

Well Scoots, I recommend a new nickname for you. “Scooter” works at country clubs and polo grounds, but in stir, all it will get you is the ride of your life. So I recommend something like “Knuckles” or “Johnny Two-Tap”. Or if that doesn’t work, because, let’s face it, you look like Mr. Sta-Puf, how about “HIV Mutha”?

Scooter Libby’s head rolled when Carl Rove decided to out a CIA agent, and some people got mad about that. Why, oh why did they not find him guilty of treason? Outting an undercover agent is a treasonable offence. You get the chair, like Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, for such an offense. So why not the chair? Well, as it turns out, too many had outted Valerie Plame. It was a target-rich environment for reporters. The issue wasn’t who outted Valerie Plame, but who DIDN’T, and who of the pack outted her first? The only one who didn’t out her was Carl Rove, and that’s because he didn’t have to. He had his guys do the job for him, and the Nuremburg defense, I hear, “I was only following orders”, was overruled in 1946, so they couldn’t use that.

What defense did they use? The one that worked: “Everyone was doing it.”

But we needed a head and Scooter drew the short straw (or more likely, it was drawn for him).

So they tried and convicted Scooter Libby of

“failing to tell the truth to a federal grand jury and the FBI about the disclosure of former CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity. Libby was convicted of two counts of perjury, one count of making false statements to FBI agents, and one count of obstructing justice.”

There is no word whether Bush will pardon Libby for his lying ways. Wait, did I just write that without pausing? I sure did. Let’s try that again. We haven’t heard when Bush will pardon Libby because as we all know, lying to prosecutors, investigators, or the American public is perfectly OK as long as you can get away with it. And even if you get found out, what are they going to do to you?

So go ahead, Dubya. Pardon Scooter. You know you are going to and so do we.

That’s how bad it has gotten.