Keith Hampton: A Possible Statewide Victor in 2012

I had the opportunity to listen to criminal defense attorney Keith Hampton speak twice in as many days about his race to unseat Republican Appeals Court Justice Sharon “Killer” Keller. This may just be the race that puts a Democrat in a statewide office for the first time since 1994.

You may recall Killer Keller’s infamous 2007 refusal to admit defense lawyers into her office because they had arrived 20 minutes after office hours. She uttered the infamous words “we close at 5.” One hour later, their client, convicted murderer Michael Richard was put to death.

For this, Keller received a reprimand from the Commission on Judicial Conduct. Related to this is a record-breaking fine of $100,000 from the TEC for her fuzzy math on her campaign finance reports.

Now get this, Republicans are just as embarrassed over this Appeals Court Justice, as Democrats are outraged. In a recent polling of 9300 Texas Bar members, Hampton received a 52% approval rating compared to Killer Keller’s 38%.

Now sure, Keller is going to benefit from the votes of straight ticket Republicans, but more than one voter has admitted that they would simply withhold their votes for Keller.

This is, in short, the best opportunity we have to retake a statewide office. This could be only the start.

My Impassioned Plea to Arizona Sec State Bennett

Unless you have been asleep in this very political year, you have not missed the maniacal actions of the Arizona Secretary of State, Ken Bennett, who has pondered over whether he, as a responsible Secretary of State in charge of elections in his state, should allow President Barack Obama’s name on the November ballot considering the fact that he may not be constitutionally qualified to lead this nation because of the constitutional proviso that the president must be a naturally born citizen and not naturalized.

He embarked on his quest to establish President Obama’s true citizenship after receiving over 1,200, count ‘em, 1,200 emails from concerned Arizonans. Now that’s what I call being responsible and proactive.

So I noted today that a new website has sprung up, a website that is alarmed that presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is not exactly human. Although the constitution does not explicitly restrict a president to the zoological classification of Homo sapiens, I think it is implied when they use the word “person” in reference to who can be president.

Now I have it on good authority that Mitt Romney has never denied that he is a unicorn. In fact he has ignored the charge, which is completely callous. 

And now I find that this website has collected more than 17,000 emails that they have forwarded to the office of the Arizona Secretary of State. Emails that demand that Mitt Romney subject himself to an examination of his DNA to prove, at long last, that he is not a unicorn but is a human being as he purports to be.

17,000 emails.

Here’s some math:

Twelve hundred emails demanding that Obama is a US citizen goes into 17,000 emails demanding that Mitt Romney establish his humanity is exactly 14 and 1/6 times.

Over 14 times the number of emails that persuaded him to investigate President Obama’s citizenship.

They got mine today. Here is what I wrote in addition to the generic message generated by the website:

Sec State Bennett, thank you for investigating whether President Barack Obama was indeed born in the state of Hawaii. I wasn't there to witness it and I want answers. On the other hand, presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has time and time again refused to submit to a DNA test to quell persistent rumors that he is, indeed, a unicorn. Join me in demanding that Mitt Romney prove once and for all the falseness of these outrageous, but believable rumors.

This is serious guys. Unicorns carry lethal weapons mounted on their foreheads, and I have heard of no state law that allows the “conceal carry” or even “open carry” of a unicorn horn. Mitt needs to come to terms with these charges.

The very real stiffness of the man, and his lack of any perceivable sense of humor casts doubt on Mitt Romney’s humanity. This is just the icing on the cake.

Come Clean Mitt Romney!

Wideo Wednesday

Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy.

It has finally started. All those months that passed when Super PAC money enabled GOP candidates to stay in the race well past a time when a sober campaigner would have tested the winds, found them wanting, and dropped out are now coming back to haunt the nominee. Citizens United will be remembered as the Supreme Court decision that became the undoing of presumed presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

Witness today’s release of several Obama campaign videos, two of which I have embedded below for your viewing pleasure.

In this first video, we see Mitt Romney trying to turn back the clock to 1954 in the insane attempt, in an election year yet, to take away women’s rights. Rights that have been settled law for decades now.

But here’s my fave. Here is a collage of Newt Gingrich’s commentaries on Mitt Romney while they were in a tooth and claw scramble for the nomination, The Speaker spoke. And spoke large.

Hee hee.

Obama Climbs in the Texas Polls

It’s kind of fun watching my fellow Texans, Republican Texans, coming around to line up behind the presumptive nominee, Mitt Romney, as their last best hope for a “True Conservative,” Rick Santorum regained his sanity and realized he had neither a hope nor a prayer of beating the Romney political machine.

It’s funny and it’s a little sad.

Sad because as a political animal, I know what kind of boost it gives you when you aren’t settling for your second or even third choice, when the person who comes out on top is not only your choice, but the best choice.

But alas, such is not the case with the Texas GOP this year. This year they are going to nominate The Mormon. Mr. Richie Rich. The guy who makes you yawn with abounding enthusiasm.

That and the fact that there’s this guy who says that when people vote for Mitt Romney, they are consigning at least a million more people to the eternal fires of H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks.

So how does this correlate to the headline? How has Barack Obama climbed in the Texas polls?

History.

Look at the polling in 2008. In 2008 John McCain, even with a disaster like Sarah Palin on the ticket as his running mate, out-polled Barack Obama by nearly 12 points. The McCain/Palin ticket got 55.45% of the vote compared to the Obama/Biden ticket which received 43.68% of the Texas vote.

But according to a recent poll by Public Policy Polling Romney leads Barack Obama in Texas by only 7%. That’s a net gain of 5 points for President Obama.

So the question is, in the past 4 years, has Texas been tipping more and more blue? I doubt it. I think that this is the phenomenon known as “election indifference.” Lots and lots of Republicans are not jazzed by their candidate. Maybe even some of them don’t want to consign a million people to the infernal regions.

What ever. It works for me.

Color Me Confused

I was a little put off today by a facebook posting of a friend of mine who also happens to be Republican. Yes, I do not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, sexual orientation or politics when it comes to my facebook friends.

I didn’t begrudge her the posting. It was an honest question. It was a poll.

It was a poll question asked by Republican operative Dick Morris. The question was “Do you think Romney will be able to maintain his recent poll numbers?”

At present well over 600 maintain that he will, and around 39 say no.

It was obviously a push poll to get people fired up about the presumptive nominee, Mitt Romney, and conservatives are coming out in droves to say yes. And I see that a few Democrats are saying no.

But I don’t agree with my fellow-Democrats. I agree with the over 600 conservatives who think, or rather hope, that Mitt Romney will continue to maintain his poll numbers. I hope so too. His poll numbers stink and I hope to high heaven that he can maintain them, or even improve on the downward trend.

But for a minute I was confused. I’ve been watching the polls and they don’t bode well for Romney. I asked myself “what has changed?” Has the Mittster pulled a rabbit out of a hat and he is now soaring in the polls?

And the answer is no, making this a very clever poll question. Make Republicans think that Romney is getting ahead in the polls and maybe everyone will agree eventually. It’s like Fox News at a small scale.

It’s like asking “by how many percentage points do you think Mitt Romney is going to trounce Barack Obama?”

So to ease my confusion, I consulted the latest ABC News-Washington Post poll taken late last week.

And it’s true, Romney’s numbers are up – among Republicans. Not a hard thing to do when his number one fly in the ointment, Rick Santorum, the last true conservative in the race, withdrew last week, making Romney the presumptive nominee.

But that is about it.

Nearly all of Romney’s numbers indicate trouble ahead for Mitt Romney.

African-Americans hate him. He gets a 10% favorable rating from African-Americans, versus 93% for Obama. Hispanics are similarly disaffected with Romney with a 43% gap between favorable and unfavorable.  Women have turned their backs on Republicans in general and who is surprised at that with a well-documented “war on women” in full throttle?  58% of women favor Obama versus 36% for his presumed opponent. Independents narrowly tilt toward Obama with 53% for Obama versus 47% favorable for Romney.

The only demographic where Romney outperforms Obama is white men. White men love the Mittster, and if it was 1919 he would very probably win in a landslide.

And really, I am wondering how long he will enjoy even that advantage. Some white men, I think, might take umbrage over a presidential candidate hiding some of his wealth in a Swiss bank account, keeping it out of the range of the IRS.

Having just mailed a check to the IRS myself, I know other white men might just feel a little outraged.

It's Super Tuesday!!!

At long last we are finally at Super Tuesday, the day when 10 states hold their primaries. The day when, quite typically, the nominees are decided.

The day that Texas didn't vote.

Yes, Texas is a Super Tuesday state. But all because of the conservative US Supreme Court, Texas can't hold its primary on its traditional day the first Tuesday in March. Thanks to the US Supreme Court Texas has to wait until late May... or even June.

When the nominee has typically been decided for a couple of months.

But I still don't know. There is still enough fluidity in the Republican races that we could see this go on for awhile. The "anyone but Mitt" crowd keeps going strong. Keeps going strong all except for the fact that they can't agree on if not Mitt, then who? I think that in the end, Mitt is going to be Itt, but it is going to take a little time, Newt seems to have just won Georgia - his home state - go figure.

And in the meantime, Mitt Romney is going to continue to claw apart his opponents, making him look like the highbrow brute that he most definitely is.

Poor John Cornyn

According to Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post, my senator, John “Box Turtle” Cornyn had himself the worst week in Washington this past week. Now considering what we know about all the bad news being handed Republicans this week as the national economy seems to be picking up steam again, much to their consternation, this came as somewhat of a surprise to me. What, I asked myself, had he done?

Well, it’s not so much what he did, but what was done to him. His job, as the National Republican Senatorial Committee leader just became harder. In 2010 Cornyn cruised in a downhill run picking up six senate seats and closing the door on the progress of any decent legislation in the senate. He had done his job. But in retrospect, in 2010 a 2 year old could have done a pretty decent job.

This year all eyes will be on Cornyn to close the deal and regain the senate majority. And what the heck, with 23 Democratic senators up for re-election compared to a mere 10 Republicans, Cornyn must have been feeling pretty good about his chances of becoming the next Republican hero.

Then came Olympia Snowe’s sandbag job. Just a few hours before announcing that she would not be running for re-election in her fairly liberal state, Snowe informed Cornyn of this. Now New Hampshire, which went for Obama by 58% in 2008, will most certainly go back to the Democratic side of the aisle. Then, Cornyn was rubbing his hands together over the retirement of Nebraska’s Senator Ben Nelson. Nebraska is as red as can be and this was going to be an easy pick up. But then former senator Bob Kerrey announced he was going to try and get his old seat back. Kerry is most likely the only Democrat in the state with a fighting chance to win says Cillizza.

In short, in the space of just a couple of days, Cornyn got two pretty bad pieces of news over what he was seeing as two easy races.

And the icing on the cake is that they both came about because of all the crazy rightwing rhetoric coming out that is literally chasing centrists and moderates back to the private sector.

My advice to the senator would be for him to read his Bible more often. Here’s one I like:

“He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart.”

Proverbs 11-29.

Dogs Against Romney

It was inevitable. It was inevitable that someone come up with a Facebook page about the now infamous Romney family vacation to Canada. You know. The one where Mitt Romney strapped a dog kennel, essentially a crate to the roof of his station wagon and put in it the family dog, an Irish Setter named Seamus. And drove like a bat out of hell for 12 hours on the interstate.

As the story goes, as retold by one of his sons years later, the children noticed a stream of brown fluid going down the back window of the station wagon. The poor animal was so upset that he became physically ill.

So what did Mitt Romney do? He pulled over into a gas station and hosed off the dog and the crate. Then put them both back on the roof of his car and drove on.

Word has it that while vacationing in Canada Seamus made a break for it and ran away from these crazy heartless people.

So now there is a Facebook page that you can find here.

As we say in Facebook, LOL.

UPDATE: They also have a Blogger website. Fantastic!

Conservatives Focus On the Past

OK, when I saw this headline at the Austin American-Statesman, “Perry to address CPAC conference” I had to ask myself this question: Why?

Isn’t he out of the presidential nomination race? Didn’t he prove to the nation that he had no qualifications to be president? That he is an ignorant slob?

Hey, I thought so. But not the case. And the reason this is not the case is that the Conservative Political Action Conference, to convene on February 9^th in Washington, DC cannot get past the past.

I read on, and saw the list of invited speakers:

“Other speakers at CPAC 2012, which will focus on training activists and developing strategies in hopes of defeating President Barack Obama in November, include former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and many of Perry’s former opponents for the GOP presidential nomination - Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann.”

Oh please…Michelle Bachmann? Herman Cain? Perry? SARAH PALIN???

What is it with these people? Each and every one of the above named have either been outted as womanizers, crazies, cranks, or downright fools. CPAC loves them all, though.

But you know who CPAC loves the most? Yep, you guess it. They love them some Ron Paul. Ron Paul won the CPAC straw poll in 2011. Ron Paul.

CPAC is about as relevant to this election as Abraham Lincoln’s stance on the Russo-Japanese War of 1905.

Diebold Leaks Puppet Masters’ Presidential Choice in 2012

This is hilarious. You might remember this group released nearly the same You Tube video in 2008. Their story then was John McCain would win the presidential election because he was the choice of the Dark Masters. Now they are back with the story that the puppet masters have picked Mitt Romney to be our next president.

As I mentioned to the one who posted this video on her facebook page, this wouldn’t be nearly as funny if it weren’t for the fact that there is more than a grain of truth to this story.

Hat tip to Betsy.

Sign the CREW Petition. Clean Up the FEC.

The Federal Elections Commission is broken. Three commissioners, Republicans all, absolutely refuse to enforce our campaign laws, laws that are meant to keep our elections from turning into auctions, where government offices are sold to the highest bidder.

Six commissioners still serve on this supposed watchdog organization despite the fact that their terms have expired.

And now with Citizens United virtually guaranteeing an election cycle where money does all the talking we cannot afford to let the FEC remain a dysfunctional government entity.

So CREW and other public watchdog organizations have started a petition on the White House’s petition website. They need to have 25,000 signatures by February 10^th in order for the president to respond to the petition. At this writing they are 10 percent of the way there.

Go there and sign the petition. You will have to register at the White House website if you haven’t already. But most importantly, if you haven’t yet registered there why are you even reading this?

Heads Need to Roll in Perry Campaign

Rick Perry’s handlers are not watching the store it seems. They let the Texas governor release an email statement on the death of Korean dictator Kim Jung-Il, but instead of getting the name right, the governor commented on the passing of Kim Jung, Jr.

That is Kim Jung II.

That’s right, this guy who is running for the office of king of the world doesn’t know the name of the president of a potential nuclear power.

And no one on his staff caught it either.

It’s OK to make gaffes when you are onstage under the hot lights and there is no one to hold your hand. You can have your oops moments in that situation and no one will be to blame. But when you issue a statement on email, maybe it should be proofed, especially given the history of getting things wrong almost all the time.

No, someone needs to lose his or her job over this.

It’s either that, or we Dems seem to have a mole in the Perry camp.

Primary Colors

Democrats and Republicans have difficulty agreeing on anything these days so it was with some relief that I read yesterday that the two parties have come to agreement on holding a single primary at a later date, April 3^rd. All other dates are moved back as well.

For instance, these are some new deadline for events before and after the April 3^rd primary:

• February 1, 2012 - New residency deadline for candidates seeking election to the Texas House and Texas Senate.
• February 1, 2012, 6:00pm - New deadline of court-ordered reopened filing period, in which candidates for all offices have the opportunity to amend, withdraw or file a new application for the ballot.
• February 3, 2012 - New deadline for County Executive Committees to conduct drawing for candidate order on ballot.
• April 3, 2012 - Date of the 2012 General Primary Election.
• April 14 or April 21, 2012 - Date of County and Senatorial District Conventions, as determined by the State Chair of each political party.
• June 5, 2012 - Date of the 2012 General Primary Runoff Election.

That last one gives me a little pause. A June runoff date? It’s true enough that when I lived in California, which had a June primary for years, that late of a date didn’t keep me from voting, but this is a primary runoff, a totally different animal.

In a primary runoff a person can get elected if his extended family all show up at the polls. And in the Republican primary next year we have 4 who will vie for Fort Bend County Sheriff as the current sheriff has announced his retirement. That race is bound to go to runoff.

Democrats won’t have that problem as only one candidate has filed (so far).

An actual hero.

Republicans Have Themselves a 3-Way

The news cannot possibly be better. Likely Republican primary voters have a new darling. The new “Not_Mitt”? Newt Gingrich.

Newt Gingrich is surging in the polls, taking up the slack that Rick Perry’s eternal gaffes and Herman Cain’s poor treatment of the best of us has produced.

That’s what Politico says anyway. From Politico:

“A new Public Policy Polling survey out Monday has him in first place, hitting 28 percent. He’s a close second behind Mitt Romney in both Monday’s CNN/ORC International poll, which showed him at 22 percent, and the McClatchy-Marist poll out Friday, which showed him at 19 percent”

That’s right. The new front runner, or second-front runner depending on which poll you are willing to believe, has former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich back up at the top.

Perry? Stick a fork in him, he’s done.

So let me get this straight. Republican primary voters will choose between an African-American businessman with no real prior experience in government other than trying to figure out how to pay it as little as possible in taxes, and a Teabagger to boot that is so intertwined with the Koch brothers that you don’t know where one ends and the other begins, and Newt a former congressman who resigned from congress in disgrace rather than take ownership over the fact that he was responsible for the 1998 election disaster for his party – while simultaneously cheating on his dying wife in an affair with his present wife.

An affair that he carried out while conducting impeachment procedings against Bill Clinton, who was accused of essentially the same thing.

Oh… and Mitt. Mitt Romney, a man who will not receive 20% of Republican votes because he is a Mormon.

Republican “Values Voters” are finally going to reap what they have sown. They will have to decide between two womanizers and a Mormon.

A friend shared a 1994 quote from Barry Goldwater recently and I think it is totally apropos to repost it here. It is so clear that his prediction has come to fruition.

“Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they're sure trying to do so, it's going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise. I know, I've tried to deal with them.”

Amen.

Cain: Obama Cut Space Shuttle Program

What do Tea Partiers and LaRouchies have in common? Well it seems to be their viral hatred of the fact that President Obama ended the NASA space shuttle program. At least that is what I read today at the Huffington Post.

It has a familiar ring, doesn’t it? That’s because in the 2010 Texas CD 22 congressional race, Pete Olson’s “Democratic” opponent, Kesha Rogers, an adherent to the belief system promoted by Lyndon LaRouche, had it all in for the president for just this same issue.

Had it in for him as in claiming that it was an impeachable offense.

Here is a video of Herman Cain discussing just this issue.

Here is what the Huffington Post records as his statement on the issue: 

“‘I can tell you that as president of the United States, we are not going to bum a ride to outer space with Russia,’ Cain said to loud applause. ‘We're going to regain our rightful place in terms of technology, space technology.’"

“Cain was talking about U.S. plans, now that the space shuttle is retired, to use Russian rockets to send astronauts to the International Space Station.”

And normally that would make a good story for local consumption, NASA being a very big deal in southeast Texas. It would certainly be an issue with voters here. All except for the fact that the space shuttle program was signed into extinction in 2004 by former President George W. Bush.

But Tea Partiers and LaRouchies are inflamed over this issue despite the fact that sending an astronaut to the International Space Station costs the government $56 million (with an expected rate hike to $63 million in the future), a net cost savings over sending them up on a space shuttle mission.

But there you have it. Cain, a businessman, seems to be all about doing things on the cheap, a Tea Party favorite, but when he gets specific its not WalMart he wants to do his shopping at, it’s Neimann-Marcus.

Perry Forgetting His Core Issue Explained

I’ve given up watching the Republican presidential debates not because I don’t want to see these people claw each other into bloody gore, but because I am tired of hearing audience reaction to some of the most hateful ideas voiced on stage.

Like the enthusiastic cheering at the Texas governor’s presiding over the most state-sponsored executions in the nation.

Like the booing of a gay soldier serving in Iraq who had a question for Rick Santorum concerning Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

Like the positive reaction to an observation that someone who is without health insurance, and has gotten fatally ill, should die.

Conservative audiences have become so polarized that it turns my stomach to watch anymore. And I hope that this is also not lost on Independent voters come next year’s election.

So I got to miss Rick Perry’s latest gaffe, as he failed to remember the name of the 3^rd presidential cabinet department that he wanted to eliminate: the Department of Energy.

How can a governor of a state which has such a heavy stake in energy (oil and gas) forget about the Department of Energy and how he wants to eliminate it? He couldn’t do it despite several attempts.

So here is my explanation. As mentioned previously, Rick Perry has no core beliefs other than the fact that he needs to be rich, and accomplishing that while serving in public office involves getting stuff from your donors, and getting stuff for your donors.

One hand washes the other.

So when Rick Perry couldn’t dredge up the 3^rd department he wanted to eliminate, it was just a failure of memory – failure of his rote memorization of his targets - without any conviction for which targets they should be, and why. All of that was just memorized.

It has to be. There can be no other explanation.

Cain Accuser Won’t Come Forward, and For Good Reason

If you have been following the news lately you are well-aware that presidential hopeful (or book seller?) Herman Cain has stumbled of late due to several accusations from at least four women that Cain, when he was head of the National Restaurant Association, had sexually harassed them.

Having absolutely zero effect on his polling. Teabaggers love them some sexual harassers.

The revelations actually increased his rate of campaign contributions. I kid you not.

So having laid all of this out before the media and the public, should one wonder why none of the four women want to go public? Well, for one thing, there is word of signed settlements – cash for silence. Something that has been breached, although what do you do if someone who was harassed decides to come out anyway, sue her?

No, I think not, although I may be selling short the level that Herman Cain can descend to.

No, the reason you stay out of the klieg lights of modern fame is Anita Hill.

Anita Hill came forward when the Senate was considering confirmation of Clarence Thomas as a Supreme Court Justice. Her story was credible. And her story was ignored, Thomas was confirmed, and Thomas has subsequently been a participant in some of the worst SCOTUS decisions in US history.

The reason you don’t come forward is that there is absolutely nothing in it for you to do so, and it destroys whatever self-respect and credibility you once had.

Loopy Perry Speech: Bourbon or Muscle Relaxants?

Now I know you have all seen the loopy speech that Texas governor Rick Perry gave to a New Hampshire group this past week. But if you haven’t here are some excerpts of this nearly half hour speech that captures some of the more bizarre moments of his speech, including, I swear, what I heard to be slurred words.

Convinced? I am. I think Rick Perry was feeling no pain as he delivered that painful speech to New Hampshire conservatives who seemed to be lapping it up. Even “The Daily Show” pundit Jon Stewart thought so and noted it in his Moment of Zen this week.

That left the San Francisco Chronicle’s Carla Marinucci, who interviewed Perry subsequently, to ask whether he was on medication from his recent back surgery, or whether he had had a few too many before coming up on the stage.

Here is his response.

Gee. I wonder if Rick Perry hearts Jon Stewart, and wants to toss back a couple of glasses of wine with him. And no, Rick Perry is definitely not gay.

Obama Foreign Policy Goes Unanswered

It continues to amaze me that the issues that haunted the 2008 election have failed to emerge in the just beginning 2012 campaign season: chiefly issues of foreign policy.

Foreign policy was all what it was about in the Democratic primary. The “It’s 3 AM” television ad was a brilliant hit piece that inserted the notion that as president, Barack Obama would be ineffectual and indecisive.

McCain used that very tack in the fall campaign, touting his military service that consisted of, need I remind anyone, getting his Phantom shot out from under him and getting captured by a 3^rd rate military.

But when you try to get a handle on what the current line-up of Republican presidential wannabes say about what foreign policy should be, all you hear are crickets.

Crickets.

Foreign policy is not this group’s strong suit. And that is probably a good thing for them since it does not appear that Americans are overly concerned about any non-domestic issues right now. But early on, all you heard from the right wing is about how President Obama was a pushover in the international scene.

Then he launched a murderous campaign to decapitate Al-Qaeda, topple Middle East dictatorships, and continue to maintain a presence in Iraq up to, and just until the deadline to leave Iraq will be reached later on this year – a deadline set by the previous administration, I might add.

Nope, Nick Anderson has it exact, I think. Republicans will not be showing up to debate on foreign policy anytime soon, simply because they have no credentials or credibility in this area.

Beckie-beckie-stan-stan. Give me a break.

Yankee Whoamon Gonna Vote Fer Mitt

O-cheut! A tarbul thang gist happint tuh th’ chaynces thet Rick Perry has to be Presdent ah the Yew Nahted Staytes.

Sum Yankee Whoamon up nawth in N’Hampshure, thuh dadgum sayme whoamon who flew on down to thuh grayte stayte a’ Teksus sum tahme ago to urge thet goodolboy Rick Perry tuh run fur Presdent has endoarsed, instudda haym, thet otha gah. Mitt Romney.

Thet whoamon, Maureen Mooney, gist put the braykes on Perry, whuch ah bleeve weel probly mayke paypul in N’Hampshure thank twahs abut votin’ fur haym

Ah red about et hair.

Hairs whut she sayed:

“This is Mitt’s tahm n’ this is his yair. He has bayen a frayen of N’Hampshure fur yairs nah n’ is vury sportive of thuh N’Hampshure Publican Party, candates locly, the counteh and stayte. Furthmore, he daimonstraytes a shurpness en evry debayte way have seen haym en thet wayell match up wayul agin Barack Obama. Thet is precahsely whut we nayed.”

Thet’s a lil’ code, ah thank. Speshuly saince thayer bolth gonna bay et th’ sayme ee-vent tanaht in N’Hampshure.

Y-ahlbaydaaumed.