Sunday, March 10, 2013

Oh I'm So Stealing This...

The following table is the brainchild of Markos Moulitsas, founder of the Daily KOS blog. It is a brilliant summarization of the various factions of the conservative movement in America. It is so close to the truth that the only thing I could say after perusing it on his website was "we are so screwed."

Then I stole it.
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TeabaggerPaleoconCorporate ConNeoconTheoconLibertarian
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ArchetypeSarah PalinPat BuchananMitt RomneyBill KristolPat RobertsonRon Paul
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Purpose of GovernmentHands off my Medicare!Stop changeMake me money, bail me outBomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran...Impose my god on everyone elseNone
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In one wordCrazyParanoidGreedyBloodthirstyZealotMe!
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ObamaDictatorCommunistSocialistAppeaserInfidelTyrant
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Biggest allyTheoconLibertarianNeoconTheoconNeoconTeabagger
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Biggest rivalCorporate ConNeoconTeabaggerPaleoconCorporate ConCorporate Con
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Pet concernTaxesCommunistsRegulatorsEmpireLegislating godNo laws
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ImmigrationDeportDeportCheap labor!TerroristsEmbraceBring 'em
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InternationalDon't careIsolationistIs there oil?Bomb already!Spark the rapture!Make trade, not war
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GunsFight gov't tyranny!Red Dawn!Ick!Bigger!For shooting doctorsThe more, the merrier
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AbortionBan it!Bomb the clinic!Who cares?I'll pretend to careShoot the doctor!Not my problem
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CorporatismAnti. In theoryAnti. In theoryRaison d'êtreGotta build bombsWhateverÜber alles!
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RaceWe've got Herman Cain!Whites OnlyMoochersTarget practiceObama is Atheist MuslimNo racial entitlements
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TaxesNone!None!None!Free wars!Outsource to NorquistWorse than Hitler
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GaysIckNo special rights!ixnay on the igotrybayWho?Sodom and GomorrahWho cares?

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