Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Rick Perry Visits His California ATM

As a native Californian it comes as no surprise to me that Texas’ governor, Rick Perry this week decided to escape the August heat that Texas is so famous for and spend some quality time in a quality state. Word is he is cooling his jets at The Peninsula, a 5-Star plush hotel nestled in the Hills of Beverly.

Governor, I recommend the Stag’s Leap Estate Bottled 1998 Chardonnay.

The word is that the governor is in California, a state that he derides on his own campaign website, to relieve it of some of the money that he claims Californians don’t have.

Because apparently California is being poorly governed by a fellow-Republican who nonetheless believes in all that claptrap called “Global Warming.” California has record unemployment because of how it has been governed, and people are leaving California in droves.

But apparently, Rick Perry thinks he knows where there is still money in California, so despite the fact that California has a 17% unemployment rate, and despite the fact that it suffered a net loss of 700,000 people between 2005 and 2007, and despite the fact that California is taking on $25 million in debt – per day, despite all of that, California is where you go to get some campaign cash.

So I hope the governor has a great time in his stay in my state. I hope Anita spends some time and money on Rodeo Drive, just short blocks away from The Peninsula, I hear. Spend lots of money in my California. And stay off the Santa Monica Freeway at rush hour.

Now there are other bloggers out there who are bashing the governor for being AWOL in paradise while his own state bakes in 110 degree weather, for being AWOL from his desk while a budget shortfall of between $18 and $21 billion looms on the horizon.

I won’t go there because as I have offered in the past, having Rick Perry NOT do things to Texas is actually a better deal for us. And besides that, I think I have come up with the real reason Rick Perry is in California this week, because obviously going there to get some money can’t be the real reason.

I think that because Rick Perry comes from the Party of No New Ideas, I think that he is in California to get some idea of how to tackle a giant budget shortfall because California already has some experience in that. I think that he is panicked over not having the slightest clue how to solve the problem. So Perry is there to cover his bases. If for some remote reason Texans go completely over the edge and re-elect Perry at least he will have something to say about how to tackle the budget. If on the other hand, Texas actually rids itself of the worst governor since Reconstruction, Perry will have some good contacts and will land himself some nice lakeside property that he can buy for under market value.

I recommend Lake Lucerne. Sounds nice, doesn’t it?

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