County Commissioners Approve of Sales, but Not Discharge of Fireworks

This is typical.

In response to having had several weeks now without a drop of rain and record hot dry days, the Fort Bend County Commissioners this week approved a motion by County Fire Marshal Vance Cooper to declare a “burn ban” in the county.

A burn ban effectively means no open flames are allowed because it might set off wildfires.

And because we are just 10 days out from Independence Day, that means open flames also apply to fireworks.

And that’s a good thing. That is the responsible thing to do. Because what those of you not from around here may not know is that here in Fort Bend County we take our fireworks seriously. We are not of the namby pamby sparkler set, now. When it comes to fireworks we don’t mess around.

Literally.

Around here you can purchase just about any kind of fireworks made. I’m talking rockets and bombs, here. In my youth we had to travel to Mexico to find fireworks of that sort.

What is typical, though, is that the burn ban falls short of banning the sale of fireworks in Fort Bend County. That’s right, you can buy them, but you can’t set them off.

From FortBendNow:

“Precinct 3 Commissioner Andy Meyers agreed with Hebert, saying the ban won’t prevent fireworks sales but does make lighting or discharging fireworks illegal.”

“Because of a law requiring a lead time before banning fireworks sales, “the only thing we can do is prevent people from setting fireworks off,” Meyers said.”

This makes absolutely no sense at all, which is why I am not surprised that the Commissioners Court signed off on it. Why? Because your typical fireworks-burning yahoo here in Fort Bend County does not read the local papers. Your typical yahoo doesn’t even know what a Commissioners Court is or what it does.

But he does buy lots and lots of fireworks.

You know, allowing fireworks to be purchased within your jurisdiction is tantamount to an agreement that once bought, the purchaser can put them to the use that they were intended for.

It’s like allowing the sale of bottled water in the county, but forbidding the use of it to quench your thirst after a long hot day outside mowing the ever-browning lawn.

But we here in Fort Bend County don’t want to stand in the way of free enterprise. No way will we stifle the merchandising of firestorm delivery systems. Because we support the capitalist way of life here. Regulating commerce?

That’s Obama Socialism writ large.