Saturday, June 11, 2011

How Would Jesus Vote?

It seems God is a Republican. How else can you explain the fact that He has endorsed three, count ‘em, three Republican presidential hopefuls. And how on Earth (or in heaven for that matter) does God get off choosing 3 and not one? Is it the whole Holy Trinity thing?

It’s true. According to the Daily Intel the Lord God has been caught red-handed apparently endorsing the campaigns of Herman Cain, Rick Santorum and Michelle Bachman.

And Michelle Bachmann hasn’t even declared her candidacy – not yet anyway. The Omniscient One must know she is in even though we don’t.

Herman Cain knew way back in 1999 that God wanted him to run. But even better, last year God sent him a text message of encouragement.

Rick Santorum? Rick’s wife told a reporter last month that “we believe with all our hearts that this is what God wants.”

Michelle Bachmann pretty much spells it out this way: if she runs at all it’s because God wills it. Going Santorum’s wife one better Bachmann said this: “I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That's really my standard.”

You have to love the gall of God, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, Whoever is for whomever, to give the Holy Nod to not one but three Republicans.

And you know, this pretty much puts the kibosh on anything constructive coming out of Rick Perry’s Pray In this coming August 6. With God’s political loyalties split up between 3 other presidential candidates, how is He going to possibly be there to listen to the prayers of Rick Perry’s invitees to his prayerfest that he calls “The Response?”

And what is behind “The Response?” Well apparently our problems are too big for us to solve by ourselves. We need The Lord and Savior of the Universe to get His hands dirty and solve them for us. Guess so. If the Texas Legislature can’t get it done we need to go to the A Team.

Hope they’re up to it and not spending too much time on the campaign trail.


JJR said...

Unfortunately G.O.P. has stood for "God's Own Party" since at least 1992, when I left their ranks after Pat Buchanan's "Culture War" speech in Houston and decided ultimately that I was a Democrat.
No room in the GOP tent for a college educated 20-something atheist, I decided back then.

And being in the pulpit for them IS being on the campaign trail, unfortunately, then as now.

The IRS and Federal elections folks turn a blind eye to that and only go after political speech from the pulpit if it's in a left-leaning church preaching a social-justice gospel.

duck duck said...

Somebody calls out, say Amen! Amen, they respond.

August 6th ought to be a hoot.

I see my Texas father-in-law next week. He's gone over the edge, I think. He sends me this vile, hurtful email - it's just crap the wingnuts are circulating. I've asked him not to send me this stuff. He just ignored me. I'm not looking forward to this visit.

We desperately need a gospel call for social justice, and I'm an atheist.