Dad gummit. The results of the Steve Stockman drawing for a free man-killing AR-15 semi-automatic rifle are in and Half Empty did not win.
God bless a milk cow.
Recall that a couple of months ago, with a renewed call for stricter background checks for purchasers of man-killing guns, Congressman Steve Stockman (R - Gunnut) got himself an AR-15 Bushmaster, the same gun that took the lives of 26 schoolchildren and their teachers at Sandyhook, and put it up for a drawing.
All you had to do was sign up. He would do the rest.
Well on Independence Day the drawing was held and I did not win.
Recall that should I have won the object was to break the gun down to its elemental parts - down to every bolt, barrel and spring - and toss it all into the Brazos River.
Well that's not going to happen now. All I got for my trouble is a place on Steve Stockman's email list as evidenced below from his email to me personally (because he called me by my middle name: "patriot"). I reproduce it below without comment or correction. It's funnier that way as you will see.
Dear Patriot,I’d like to express my heartfelt thanks to the nearly 100,000 participants in a special sweepstakes for an AR-15.The winning number was drawn on Independence Day in Lumberton, Texas.The lucky winner has been notified, and pending verification will be presented with the firearm in the coming days.If the Minute Men were around today, I believe they would be carrying a rifle resembling the AR-15.I refer to such firearms as the torch, or symbol, of freedom.In Washington, where I am honored to serve as a representative in Congress, anti-gunners are clamoring to restrict your right to keep and bear arms.They forget that their “just powers” are derived from the “consent of the governed.”That’s why it’s so important for you, the voter, to stay active in the political battles.And that’s the real reason I gave away an AR-15 rifle.I want as many people as possible to be involved in the political process, to be aware of what’s happening to our liberty.If it takes giving away a rifle to get more people in involved, then I’ll do it.Protecting our constitutional rights is what is needed more than ever.America is great because of the foundation laid more than 230 years ago.If that foundation is destroyed, America will cease to be great.It’s as simple as that.I hope that you agree, and that you will stand with me in this fight for the Constitution and the Second Amendment.If you can provide financial support, thank you so much.Gun grabbers would happy if I were defeated, so I rely on individuals like you for support.If you’re able to contribute $15, $25, $100, or even more, please click here.[OK, I removed the hypertext. Shoot me]But I also know these are tough economic times for many. So even if you can’t afford to give right now, please stay active.I send out frequent updates on legislation, which you can forward to your friends and get even more people active in politics.Below is a video of the drawing. Please stay tuned for our next offer, which will be announced soon!
I am waiting with bated breath to discover what Stockman's next offering will be. Barack Obama's official witch doctor bone rattle? A perfectly preserved uterus encased in an acrylic block? His own personal chest X-ray revealing the absence of his cold, cold heart? A sample of the fried grits that occupy the spaces between his ears?
I can hardly wait.