Wednesday, August 16, 2006

God Almighty 1, Satan 8

I'm telling you, Satan, through his allies the Liberal Democrats and Nancy Pelosi, is winning his battles on all fronts. Armageddon is nigh (or . . . er . . . was)

First, one of God's home-boys, Tom DeLay former congressman from Texas CD-22, got chased out of town by Liberal Democrat (and Nancy Pelosi's lapdog) Nick Lampson. (That's 1) And he even enlisted the help of Republican-Appointed judges (That's 2).

Then nearly the same thing happened to Bob Ney in Ohio. Earlier this month, Ney announced that he would not seek re-election, to his seat in the US House, even though he is not under felony indictment as is Our Tom. CBS News reported that Ney withdrew "citing the strain of an intensifying corruption investigation that had focused for months on his dealings with lobbyists". (That's 3)

And in an yet another irony, God's attempt to allow Tom DeLay name his successor - foiled by Satan (That's 4) - was foiled again by the dark lord when it was just announced today that Ney's endorsement of Joyce Padgett for his seat - and she was the front runner - is now all for naught as she will be ruled ineligible to run as she has run afoul of Ohio's "Sore Loser Law". (That's 5).

Also today, we learn that Activist Judges in the 5th Circuit Court of Appeal ruled that a copy of the Holy Bible may not be displayed in a monument to William S. Mosher that is located outside of the Harris County Civil Courthouse. (That's 6)

Three Ronald Reagan-Appointed judges ruled 2 for, 1 against removal of The Word of God. No one is immune. Especially men of a lawyerly background, who often find themselves listening to Lucifer's lectures.

And in his most outrageous move to-date, Satan whispered into the ears of unwitting Republican Party officials, and got them to set up a closed-door meeting of party officials and precinct chairs, so they could agree on a write-in candidate to support a replacement for Tom DeLay's seat. Unbeknownst to them, Jesus was all set to reveal Himself at the First Baptist Church of Pearland on Thursday evening, in commemoration of the National Independence Day of Indonesia (Jesus loves Indonesians, especially their batik). Not knowing the secret password, Jesus had to change venues, and millenia. (That's 7)

Thank God Almighty for the Fort Bend County Grand Jury and Judge Brady Elliott. They are alone this week doing God's bidding. Brady Elliott, Republican Fort Bend County District Attorney John Healey and Assistant District Attorney Felipe Rendon got the Grand Jury to hand down a "no-bill" in a criminal charge against Ken "Sword of God" Dexter. In the "no-bill", the jury declined to return indictments against this true blessed of Jesus.

Unfortunately our Sword of God could not do our Lord's business earlier today. Marsha "I Love Nancy Pelosi" Rovai was out again with her hero, Nick Lampson. But the devil protected the news conference by surrounding them with policeman carrying guns and mace.

And That's 8.


John Coby said...

You got to wonder where the chickenhawks that disrupted Nick's last press conference were.

Funny what happens when you are surrounded by police. With guns. And their endorsement.

p.s. Love the look of your site! :-) It works for me also!

Hal said...

Yeah John. Believe it or not I started the site with muse's template and later changed it because I decided it needed to look more like a religious tract.