Monday, September 21, 2009

16 Out of 30

Tom DeLay danced the Cha-Cha on national TV tonight.

I suppose it is the closest thing that Hot Tub Tom could come to “Cotton-Eyed Joe” or the “Texas Two Step” (or the DC Side Step).

Since judging was solely on the performance of DeLay, it seems appropriate that he scored just a tad north of mediocre.

I agree with the score, by the way. But I have a two-tiered rating system. On his dancing ability, and some of those motions I did think passed for dancing, I thought of DeLay’s performance rated a 10. But on the other thing that he seemed to be working hard on, it looked to me like he was working very, very hard not to look too gay, an undertaking made all the more difficult by the shaking of that overwide 62-year old tush.

For that effort I give him a 22.

Average score then, 16, just like the panel.

Here is the number in all of its glory.

You have to wonder whether they were padding Tom’s score, though, because of his advanced years.

And the show's increased ratings due to the morbid curiosity of those like me who never watch this TV show, but wouldn’t miss watching The Hammer make a fool of himself again.

And I have to admit, this one surpassed his courtroom performance in 2006 when he sat in Judge Sam Sparks’ courtroom and snidely insisted that he had no idea where he would be living on Election Day.

The single piece of testimony that killed Tina Benkiser et al.’s chances at victory as Tom DeLay talked any Republican replacement right off the November ballot.

And that single piece of testimony landed Tom DeLay in the lofty position he holds today.

And I can’t believe he outscored George Hamilton’s kid.


Anonymous said...

I like what he said about himself being a "goof". So this is what happens to corrupt narcistic ex-politicians who miss the spot-light?

Thanks for sharing this Hal. I'm e-mailing it on to friends. It will be great for laughs.

Anonymous said...

They don't call him the "bug killer" for nothing!

Delezzia said...

Sorry Hal, Tom shaking his ass and trying to be sexy made me puke. Gross.

Anonymous said...

This was funny! I heard it hurt their ratings too.

Anonymous said...

I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out why Dancing with the Stars' Decision Makers thought anyone would consider Tom D a "Star" or worthy of interest that anyone would be interested in watching?