It's Splitsville for the Santorums

News item: Rick Santorum announces his divorce from his wife of 23 years.

 

From Codewit:

 

The move comes as a shock to the family and friends of the couple, who have seven children together and always projected an air of marital bliss. But in an interview outside the courthouse with local television station WPAV, Santorum said that he had no choice.

 

"Unfortunately the homosexuals have ruined my marriage," he explained to reporter Bruce Nolan. "Every year more and more of them get married, and every year the relationship with my wife gets worse.

 

"Ever since the Supreme Court struck down DOMA, we've been sleeping in separate rooms. It's like I don't even know who she is anymore. This is what the gays want: to destroy the institution of marriage. We won't be the last."

 

Square Peg, Round Hole

According to the filing, the pair have agreed to split all assets equally and share joint custody of their children. His wife will keep the family home and automobiles, while Santorum will keep most of the couple's wardrobe.

 

Several seasoned divorce attorneys say that such an amicable financial settlement is unusual. But in an exclusive interview Santorum explains money was never really the issue.

 

"The real problem was in the bedroom," he says. "My wife kept complaining that I talked too much about gay sex while we were making love.

 

"I was just trying to explain how all the anal and oral things they do are filthy and disgusting compared to our intercourse. But apparently my wife didn't appreciate hearing about bears and twinks while I was inside of her."

 

And to that last, I have to add "TMI, Rick, TMI."

 

Yes, the gays are  getting married. Thirteen states now allow it, and Rick Santorum, like others of his ilk, can't stop thinking about it. In Rick's case, he can't stop talking about it, especially while he is bumping uglies with his soon-to-be former main squeeze.

 

So I have to post, for the third time - because this is the most appropriate embedding of this video to-date - my favorite You Tube video.