Monday, December 31, 2007

A Belated Holiday Treat Courtesy of God’s Own Party

And you thought Democrats had all the fun.

People are coming out of screenings of “Charlie Wilson’s War” here in the middle of the Bible Belt clucking and snickering, knowing that all that is unholy must lie with the Democratic Party, given the fact that we saw a Texas Democratic Congressman in flagrante delicto in a hot tub with Las Vegas strippers and showgirls. A scene not denied by former Congressman Wilson.

Cut to the present as we witness revelations of numerous email messages carried over Harris County servers between Harris County District Attorney Chuck Rosenthal, a Republican, and his administrative assistant, Ms. Kerry Stevens.

Messages that reveal Rosenthal’s long-ago amour with Ms. Kerry during Rosenthal’s then-doomed first marriage.

Setting a 15-member executive committee of God’s Own Party on its collective ear. Why, they ask, why O God, dost thou allow these revelations 5 days before the end of the primary ballot application period?

Forget the fact that Ms. Stevens, as an administrative assistant, is paid more than twice as much as a starting teacher in HISD, and has in addition, percs that come complete with a “company car” and a gas allowance. Forget that. We have hard evidence that DA Rosenthal was schtüpping the woman 20 years ago.

No, forget all of that. For this breach of the code of ethics of God’s Own Party (thou shalt not schtüp thine secretary and get caught), the 15-member executive committee late yesterday asked for Rosenthal to withdraw his name from the primary ballot.

Something Rosenthal has so far refused to do.

Leaving the GOP what? Leaving them to find a primary challenger to now-tainted Rosenthal? Do they know what the average Republican voter does when they see two names on a primary ballot, one with an “(I)” next to his name? They click on the “(I)”.

But suppose, by some dint of miracle, they don’t and nominate someone unknown and unattached to the DA’s office? What then?

Why that person would be pitted against a very well-known (liked?) Democratic candidate for District Attorney in the name of Chief C. O. “Brad” Bradford. Not only is Bradford the former Chief of Police of HPD, but he is also a partner in the law firm of Kelley and Bradford LLP, and has more legal credentials than the slash marks on his former uniform.

By himself, Bradford presents himself as a formidable foe. How would an under-acknowledged and unknown Republican candidate do in a knock down drag out with Bradford? It would be Bradford’s contest to lose.

On the other hand, what if Rosenthal pulls it off and gets the nomination? With Republican repugnance for anything out of their ordered sexual world, this should prove to be an interesting battle between party loyalty and loyalty to Jesus.

Either way I smell . . . napalm in the morning.

The smell of Victory.

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