Friday, January 01, 2010

Dick Armey: Democratic Party Man of the Year

At the end of 2009 we are beset by all sorts of people, all sorts of groups, all sorts of publications who have their own opinions on who was the most influential, important, mover and shaker of the year that is just about to pass into history.


Time Magazine has its Ben Bernanke for its “Person of the Year.” An odd pick similar to picking Bernie Madoff as Investment Broker of the Year.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has named Ellen DeGeneres its Woman of the Year “for promoting a lifestyle which is friendly to nature.” DeGeneres is a vegan. I like Ellen DeGeneres and think she is a smart and funny woman. But being named woman of the year for not eating meat is understating it a little, don’t you think? Isn’t it also a precondition that she be rich, famous and have her own daytime television show?

And then we have our own local blogger syndicate of which I am a member, the Texas Progressive Alliance, name the Texan of the Year or TOY. That honor went to recently-elected openly gay Houston Mayor-elect Annise Parker. Again, I like Annise Parker for her grit and admire her for her ability to pull off a victory against not so small odds. But a progressive, sadly, she is not.

So in the spirit of the naming of people of the year, I would like to put forth this website’s choice for “Democratic Party Man of the Year.” To my knowledge, no one else has thought this one up and if I am wrong, I humbly apologize.

My choice for Democratic Party Man of the Year is former Senator and former Senate Majority Leader Dick “Teabagger” Armey.

And here are my reasons for naming this right-wing nutjob to this honor.

Dick Armey has done more for the Democratic Party than any one person acting alone. All by himself, seemingly, he has developed the TEA Party Movement. All by himself, seemingly, he has presented Republican voters with a choice, his way or the GOP way.

Armey, it seems, was the man behind the curtain pulling the levers and pushing the buttons that shoved GOP congressional candidate Dede Scozzafava out of the CD-23 special election race in New York late last year. His endorsement of Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman against his own party’s candidate made possible a Democratic win in a district that hadn’t seen the light of day in over a century.

Closer to home, Dick Armey’s teabagger movement will soon see the fruits of their labors in the nomination of Rick Perry as the GOP’s candidate of choice for Texas governor in 2010, defeating centrist Kay Bailey Hutchison. A Hutchison win would mean bad news for the Democratic nominee, whoever it is. Rick Perry, with his ability to garner 39% of the vote will be an also ran in November.

And finally, nationwide, Dick Armey’s TEA Party movement will see a schism in the GOP that should further marginalize what has become a regional party. A party of older white southern people and other rednecks. The schism will be the end of the conservative movement in America for some time to come.

Dick Armey has done to the Republican Party what no Democrat could ever have hoped to accomplish.

It is therefore fitting and proper that we at Half Empty, all of me, should honor Dick Armey with a well-earned accolade as the 2009 Democratic Party Man of the Year.


Anonymous said...

On Annise Parker.

Just goes to show you, you can't ever satisfy progressives since none of them ever get elected. No one is ever progressive enough for progressives. It is a never ending complaint.

Hal said...

What the heck are you talking about, Anon? The Texas Progressive Alliance named Annise Parker TOY. Obviously there is sone satisfaction apparent in that. I was merely pointing out the obvious. A progressive she is not.