Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tempête de Merde in the Texas Senate Today

I’ve often wondered why women accompany each other to the restroom when maybe only one of them needs to go there for some reason.

You’ve seen it a hundred times.

“Please excuse me, I need to powder my nose, want to come with me?”


Well, Texas State Senator Leticia Van de Putte (D-San Antonio) gave new meaning to this foible that afflicts most women I know. Now when she has to go to the restroom, she says that she will take a Republican with her.

The vote to bring that heinous voter ID bill to the Senate floor today was well-timed on the part of the Republicans and Lt. Governor Dewhurst. In a singular sleight of hand, somehow the Senate Secretary missed Senator Whitmire's Nay vote that he cast, and then exited the floor. His name was repeatedly called at the end of the roll call vote as Senator Whitmire was taking care of business in the restroom. With Senator Uresti being bedridden, the vote to suspend the rules and bring HB 218 to the floor passed 19-9. Ten votes are needed to block the bill from being heard, and one of them was in his sickbed, and the other one was draining the main vein.

Whitmire, upon hearing that they had missed his vote, started pounding his table. Van de Putte threatened to filibuster the bill. Numerous stalls occurred as Senator Uresti climbed out of his sickbed and rushed into the Senate chamber. Dewhurst, perhaps seeing the tempête de merde build to heights that would most certainly come back to haunt him, allowed the vote to be retaken, and the bill was blocked by a vote of 20-11.

Yes, it’s either do as Van de Putte suggests, take a Republican colleague to the restroom with you, or it’s NASA’s solution. Or if that seems to be a little messy, then perhaps at least the male members can get trained in self-catheterization.


Montag said...

In the Texas State Elections of 1912 and 1914 the Socialist Party got more votes than the Republican Party. How could that possibly be, you ask innocently? Well, Texas had a Poll Tax for voting then. Since a lot of Republican Party voters were poor Blacks, they couldn't vote because they couldn't afford the Poll Tax. But the Socialist Party was supported by mainly poor Whites who had it drummed into them that come Hell or High Water they needed to find the money to pay that Poll Tax and vote, too! Hence the skewed vote tabulation.

Van said...

Don'cha just love Leticia Van de Putte? I met her through the Bexar County March of Dimes Programs and the Parents of the Retarded of Texas and I was so impressed with her. She is a great mother, great woman, great stateswoman and so passionate about what she feels is right for the underdogs in the areas of health and education. She's as formidable as a mama mountain lion protecting her den, but at the same time her humor will keep you in stitches .