Wednesday, July 01, 2009

This Sanford Story Just Won’t Die, Will It?

Now normally, when you get one of these evangelicals, political or not, caught out there in the open with their pants down and messin’ around they make a public statement that usually includes an apology, sometimes a tearful one, and then they clam up and get out of sight waiting and hoping for the furor to die down.

And it usually does, because America is fickle by nature, and usually by Day 3 something new has happened, like say, the drug-related death of the King of Pop, and like a bunch of fox hounds, off the newsies go barking down a new path.

But there is a trick to this. And the trick is you have to stop talking about it. A trick that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, and now his wife, have yet to learn.

It’s almost neurotic the way both Sanford and his wife can’t stop talking. First Sanford goes on record in an interview with an Associated Press reporter saying that he has had close encounters of a sexual kind with several other women who were also not his wife.

“There were a handful of instances wherein I crossed the lines I shouldn't have crossed as a married man, but never crossed the ultimate line.”

Crossed the ultimate line?

Is that actually what evangelicals call “doin’ the nasty?”

Actually I liked “hiking the Appalachian Trail” better.

All this did was bring all of those morally erect evangelicals back out again, demanding his resignation because apparently Mark Sanford is a repeat offender.

The man likes his ladies.

And then today, Jenny Sanford decided that she hasn’t yet had enough press or public exposure of the jilted wife who still holds her head high because she has the high moral ground, here.

But instead of looking every bit the lady whose pride is unbroken, she came out today and leveled a bony finger at the gay community. The gays ruined her marriage.

“‘Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,’ Sanford said, ‘but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.’”

In other words, I guess you can say that Jenny Sanford just slipped off of her proud public pedestal and is just another evangelical who runs to the Evangelical Republican play book and pulls out some spin.

In this case, Spin #13: when someone strays, blame the gays.

Because if you blame the gays for troubles that are obviously homegrown then you don’t have to blame yourself, right?

I ran this You Tube video some time back, but I think it’s time to put it back up as it has become relevant again.


Anonymous said...

Shouldn't Sanford give some of his salary back?

Anonymous said...

Could it be that Sanford number one is having a break-down or is he just a plain dumb-ass?

I mean, really, even upon first announcement, his meandering kept everyone wondering where he was going. Then, he finally began the point that he was trying to make with, "I want to first apologize to her???? Her? Who's her? Upon finding out who her was, and since the her to whom he was referring was not his wife, well, as a married female, I became incensed because he publicly, put the other woman on a pedestal, by referencing her in first place to receive an apology before his lawful wife. How callous and stupid can you get? Or was the incongruence due to some misguided arrogance of a male macho type ego with a braggadocios mixture due to feelings of virility of sexual conquest and poweress? To further add insult to injury, coming in second place to receive an apology before his wife, but after his mistress, were his four sons and then finally in third place to receive an apology was his lawful wife. Uhmmm-mmm, goodness gracious!!!

Moreover, to further blacken the eye, Sanford number one tells us, the public, that the other woman is his soul mate and he punctuates it with his intentions to make an effort to fall back in love with his wife again. How unbelievable is this? Upon already having confessed an adulterous, unfaithful affair with another woman, it is the worst example of awful, inconsiderate, and scandalous behavior toward the injured wife. What a cad!

Now Sanford number two, the wife, has obviously had a break-down with all this public humiliation at the hands of Sanford number one. Initially, I admired her cool calm and collected exterior under pressure reflected by her remarks to the prying news press. However with Sanford number two’s most recent ramblings, I am convinced that Sanford number one’s continuing display of lack of commitment, lack of remorse, and lack of respect has caused Sanford number two to have a break-down.

Sanford number one is a heartless cad! He needs to resign as Governor of South Carolina and his wife needs to divorce him rather than fishing for outlandish reasons to blame for her unfaithful husband’s ungentlemanly behavior. Regardless of her millions, Sanford number two needs to face the music, she is married to cad and only he is responsible for his caddish behavior.

Hal said...

OK, now I have to come clean. Sanford number 2 didn't say any of those things about the gays. The article was satire. I knew it, but it was such a delicious and believable thing I had to go with it.

You've problems with Sanford's infidelity and his ill-chosen remarks. I can get that. Where we differ is the fact that this stuff happens all the time and it is time we Americans grow up and accept it. Infidelity is inconvenient but it is a pure fact of life no matter what your politics are, or what religion you profess. No one is immune.

I stand by my original thesis that he should not resign for being unfaithful to his wife, or for making ill-advised remarks to the press. He should resign because he left his state in the lurch so he could go off with his Argentinean hottie.