Tom DeLay Quits . . . Again

I heard it on the morning news (because unlike some of my compatriots I have grown tired of watching Tom DeLay make a fool of himself . . . again) that Tom DeLay, lately my congressman from Texas CD – 22, has quit his run on Dancing With the Stars.

Has quit . . . again.

My former congressman, Tom DeLay, is a true veteran at quitting. This time the excuse given was that he had stress fractures on his feet. Whatever. Last time I had a stress fracture I was unable to walk without crutches until I was “booted.” My assumption is that DeLay’s “pre-stress fractures” were still with him, but the diagnosis was upgraded by excising the “pre” mainly so he could quit . . . again.

As I said, Tom is a veteran at quitting. Remember the last time he quit? The last time Tom DeLay quit what he was doing was in June of 2006 when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to win a re-election bid that year. His numbers were going south like Canadian Snowbirds. Back then he cited the reason for quitting was that the election would be a referendum on him, personally, and that another Republican could win where he would not be able to.

Back then, he cited as reasons for not being able to run in his district were that 1) he were to die (not yet), 2) he were to be convicted of a felony (no such luck), or 3) he were to move out of his district. Quitting, he thought, would just create a vacancy on the ballot. Not being able to run, he thought, was the way to go so the mythical Republican who would be able to win in 2006 could take his place.

The old Texas Two-Step, Tom DeLay style.

So he quit and moved to a condominium in Alexandria, Virginia. Not only out of district, but clear out of state.

And he got himself a fishing license to prove his residence.

So the Republican Party of Texas took the cue and went looking for a replacement. An experiment in civics that was ground to a halt when the Texas Democratic Party filed suit, claiming that the RPT could not replace a duly elected candidate because it violated the United States Constitution. A claim that DeLay himself helped along in court, leading to a TDP ultimate victory.

The downside of all of that is that for over 6 months the constituents of CD 22 had no representation in congress. In short, Tom DeLay quit, abandoning over 600,000 people in the process. This time, in quitting, the victim is not hundreds of thousands, but just one. Cheryl Burke.

Cheryl Burke is out of a job. Her dance partner quit on her. My hope for Ms. Burke is that she wasn’t counting on that check for very much longer, and that she didn’t quit her day job.

What a bad break for Cheryl Burke. I was wondering this: what about finding a replacement for Tom DeLay? There is, after all, precedence for at least trying. Surely they can find someone who can pick up the standard that DeLay dropped. Maybe someone who can dance better and won’t drop Ms. Burke (or nearly so) on her keester.

Surely there isn’t a provision in the US Constitution that would be violated if Tom DeLay found a replacement for himself on Dancing With the Stars. It’s win-win all around. We no longer have to watch Tom DeLay's antics on a reality TV show, and Cheryl Burke may just get another winner as a partner.

And as for having Tom back on the finale show to display his prowess at the Texas Two-Step, I have to say “What for?”

After all, we’ve already seen Tom DeLay dance that one. Twice now.