I was inspired today when I read that the Republican Party of Texas has commented on Friday’s announcement that a sitting US President has won the Nobel Peace Prize by reminding all of us that the prize comes with a monetary award. In this case a $1.4 million monetary award. Now this has them all very concerned down there in the Republican Party. I quote from their statement, all of which you can find here:
This has evoked a virtual torrent of news articles, both serious and whimsical, from points of view on both the left and the right, on what Obama should do with his award. On the right, particularly at Fox News, there are a sickening number of posters who unabashedly mention how Obama may need a grille on his teeth. Others that support the purchase of various ornaments to decorate his ride.
I have decided to join in the fray. And again, with apologies to David Letterman (who needs to make a few apologies himself these days), presented below is the Half Empty list of the Top Ten Things that Barack Obama Should Do With His Nobel Prize Award.
10. Buy 100,000 copies of Sarah Palin’s book, Going Rogue, and grind them into compost.
9. Buy postage and stationary for George W. Bush so he can send apology letters to wounded soldiers, families of 9-11 victims, foreign nationals who have been “renditioned,” and the voters of Palm Beach County, Florida.
8. Buy copies of John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage and give them to every Red State Democratic senator and every Blue Dog Democrat in the House of Representatives.
7. Corner the market on the United States' total supply of sour grapes and send them to the Republican Party of Texas with a note affixed simply reading “Enjoy.”
6. Buy 40 cases of Ex-Lax and send one to each Republican US senator. Maybe if we get them unplugged we can get some healthcare reform passed this year.
5. Reimburse Senator John Ensign’s parents for the $96,000 “gift” they made to Doug and Cindy Hampton for . . . well, for just being the great couple that they are.
4. Give it all to Rush Limbaugh. It will render him speechless for a time, and that will be $1.4 million well spent.
3. Everybody says give it to ACORN. OK, give it to ACORN but with the stipulation that they can only use it to buy brothels for rightwing nutjobs carrying video cameras.
2. Buy a bunch of those lawn jockey statues that were once so popular in The South and give them to each and every federal legislator who goes out of his or her way to dismiss Barack Obama because of his biracial ancestry.
And the number one thing that Barack Obama should do with his Nobel Prize award?
1. Pay Kanye West to go on national TV to congratulate Obama for winning The Prize by saying this: “Yo, Obama Imma let you finish but Henry Kissinger had the best accomplishment for winning the Nobel Peace Prize.”
“There is one thing we will point out, though. Given the fact that the Nobel Committee has repeatedly awarded various failed Democrats for essentially Not Being Bush, and given the fact that President Obama will stand for election again in 2012 and that today's Nobel Prize will surely come up during that campaign, the Obama re-election committee is duty bound to report the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize as a campaign contribution from a foreign source.”Uh oh. Campaign contributions from a foreign source. Can’t have that. And apparently Barack Obama himself agrees. The White House announced later that day that President Obama will donate all of his prize money to charity.
“Because that's exactly what it is.”
This has evoked a virtual torrent of news articles, both serious and whimsical, from points of view on both the left and the right, on what Obama should do with his award. On the right, particularly at Fox News, there are a sickening number of posters who unabashedly mention how Obama may need a grille on his teeth. Others that support the purchase of various ornaments to decorate his ride.
I have decided to join in the fray. And again, with apologies to David Letterman (who needs to make a few apologies himself these days), presented below is the Half Empty list of the Top Ten Things that Barack Obama Should Do With His Nobel Prize Award.
10. Buy 100,000 copies of Sarah Palin’s book, Going Rogue, and grind them into compost.
9. Buy postage and stationary for George W. Bush so he can send apology letters to wounded soldiers, families of 9-11 victims, foreign nationals who have been “renditioned,” and the voters of Palm Beach County, Florida.
8. Buy copies of John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage and give them to every Red State Democratic senator and every Blue Dog Democrat in the House of Representatives.
7. Corner the market on the United States' total supply of sour grapes and send them to the Republican Party of Texas with a note affixed simply reading “Enjoy.”
6. Buy 40 cases of Ex-Lax and send one to each Republican US senator. Maybe if we get them unplugged we can get some healthcare reform passed this year.
5. Reimburse Senator John Ensign’s parents for the $96,000 “gift” they made to Doug and Cindy Hampton for . . . well, for just being the great couple that they are.
4. Give it all to Rush Limbaugh. It will render him speechless for a time, and that will be $1.4 million well spent.
3. Everybody says give it to ACORN. OK, give it to ACORN but with the stipulation that they can only use it to buy brothels for rightwing nutjobs carrying video cameras.
2. Buy a bunch of those lawn jockey statues that were once so popular in The South and give them to each and every federal legislator who goes out of his or her way to dismiss Barack Obama because of his biracial ancestry.
And the number one thing that Barack Obama should do with his Nobel Prize award?
1. Pay Kanye West to go on national TV to congratulate Obama for winning The Prize by saying this: “Yo, Obama Imma let you finish but Henry Kissinger had the best accomplishment for winning the Nobel Peace Prize.”
3 comments:
10. Buy 100,000 copies of Sarah Palin’s book, Going Rogue, and grind them into compost.
Count this as a near miss. The money would be better spent buying up 140,000,000 copies of Hot Tubby Tommy's failed book at the previously advertised Amazon.com price of $.01 per copy.
Instead of grinding them up, deliver all of them to his home in Old Virginny. What? Not there?
Thought about that, but rejected the idea because we all know now that Tom is so hard up for cash that he went and made a fool of himself on "Dancing with the Stars." Palin, as we all now know, is strictly in it for the money and I'd like her to get as much of it as she can so she will lose all credibility and go away forever.
Thought about that, but rejected the idea because we all know now that Tom is so hard up for cash that he went and made a fool of himself on "Dancing with the Stars." Palin, as we all now know, is strictly in it for the money and I'd like her to get as much of it as she can so she will lose all credibility and go away forever.
Post a Comment