You’ve probably seen Juanita Jean’s rant over at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. on how Elaine Bishop in her push card laughably takes credit for any and all things good that has happened to Democrats recently. Her list of ten things the County Chair has accomplished is a magnificent thing. I could tell she had just as good a time assembling that list as I had reading it.
(I even added one of my own in the comments)
But I can’t let this thing go even though Juanita did such a marvelous job because you rarely get a pushcard that completely drips with prevarications and bald-faced exaggerations like Elaine Bishop’s.
I got one too, you see.
So without further ado, and with apologies (again) to David Letterman, here are the Top Ten Reasons to Vote for Elaine Bishop for County Chair.
10. She knows how to mis-spell candidate’s names really, really well. Her own name is mis-spelled on the ballot. Her real name is Elena.
9. When the rubber hits the road during election time, Elaine is busy organizing Get Out The Vote activities and calling voters – in Ohio.
8. We don’t need a “Can Do” Chair like Steve Brown, not when we have been served all these years by a “Can Don’t” Party Chair.
7. Thrift. Elaine Bishop is saving Fort Bend County thousands of dollars by approving their plan to let a Republican-dominated local government and the GOP operate Democratic Primaries.
6. Synergy. Elaine Bishop maintains close contact with Democratic Clubs all around the county and works tirelessly to derail any and all work they do helping to elect Democrats in Fort Bend County.
5. Inertia. When it comes to not moving a millimeter despite all indications that Democrats are on the verge of being the majority voters here, Elaine Bishop has gotten it down pat. Isaac Newton would be proud.
4. Credit Taking. The Chair is an expert at tooting her own horn by taking credit for the labors of others. Barack Obama doesn’t know this, but The Chair is personally responsible for his historic election in 2008. Ask Elaine.
3. Recruitment. Under her leadership 81 precinct chair positions are vacant in Fort Bend County and 7 of these vacant chairs are actually Voter Registrars. Don’t believe me? It’s here.
2. Communication Skills. With one hand on the pulse of Fort Bend County Democratic voters and the other hand on her cell phone, Elaine Bishop is skilled in not returning phone calls.
And the Number One reason to vote for Elaine Bishop for County Chair?
1. Experience and Reliability. Elaine Bishop has the most experience in not getting anything done and we can rely on that to continue when we re-elect her.