Saturday, August 16, 2008

When They Call, Mess With Their Minds

McCain Republicans are phone banking now trying to raise some campaign funds. Oil companies, the insurance industry and arms manufacturers alone can’t get him elected.

He needs the money of middle class dupes as well.

So they called me. I still have no idea what phone list they are using but that’s of no concern to me. I rather relish the idea that they spend their time and money calling folks like me to ask for money.

Because I keep them on the line.

First question out of the chute is “Do you know who you will be voting for president? Barack Obama or John McCain.”

“Oh, John McCain, absolutely,” I answered.

[Voice gets friendly in the way Republicans get once they locate one of their own].

“Well I am so glad to hear that. Our country needs solid Republican leadership . . .”

. . . and on and on.

I let him keep on reading his script, telling me about not surrendering in Iraq, about how Obama will nominate liberal judges, about how my taxes will be going up. But that I can help to prevent all that if I would put a check in an envelope that they will send to me.

Now at this point, I am thinking I can do two things. I can tell him to send that envelope on and they waste 23 cents in postage. Or I can mess with them.

I decided to mess with them.

“Wait now, I didn’t know any of this. Are you telling me that Obama will nominate liberal judges and McCain won’t?”

“Yes, he absolutely will.”

“And McCain is against universal health care?”

“Yes, he . . .”

“I had no idea. Thank you sir, you have just changed my vote.”


Now that phone banker has one of three choices in how to evaluate that call. He can classify me as an Obama supporter who is also a smartaleck with a little too much time on his hands (the correct one), and he just wasted his time. He can classify me as a persuadable who just got persuaded the other way. He can classify me as a persuadable who can still be turned to the Dark Side.

Any way you cut it, I win.

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