Thursday, March 01, 2012

Beelzebub and Breitbart Finally Meet

In a wonderful visitation by the goddess of karma, Andrew Breitbart is now and forever a nutritional source for worms. Early this morning Andrew Breitbart finally met his god.



But wait it gets better. Today on the House floor, Breitbart’s life was eulogized by none other than Louie Gohmert (R - Krazytown) the wackiest Congressman that the state of Texas has ever sent to DC.

OK, why am I being so unkind to a man who just lost his life well before his time? Well let’s just say payback is a bitch.

Upon hearing the news of Teddy Kennedy’s passing, Breitbart took to his Twitter account and wrote impolite thoughts about the former senator. Breitbart called Kennedy a "villiain," a "prick," "a big ass mothe*******," and a "duplicitous bastard." Breitbart even called Kennedy a "special pile of human excrement."

The rumor has it is that Breitbart suffered from heart problems last year and this is being offered as a probable cause of death. How ironic, First Davey Jones, then Andrew Breitbart, sudden massive heart attacks.

But I really doubt it. The reason I doubt it is that Andrew Breitbart did not actually have a heart. He had something, but a heart? No. Rather he had something akin to that of a spider, something that pumps pure black ichor.

And no, there is no truth to the rumor that Seal Team 6 has been unaccounted for, for the last couple of days. Obama killed Osama, but Breitbart died of suddenly noticing that he had no soul.

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